If only someone had written a book on how to “marriage”.
Well… my friends… let me tell you a secret…
There is a book… it’s called the bible.
Don’t believe me? Read it and prove me wrong.
Now, if I wrote a book on what the bible says about marriage it would be approximately 1,987 pages long. So today we are only going to concentrate on what it means to be a biblical wife. Then we can cover the rest in the next post… Deal?
What Is A Biblical Wife?
My definition of a Biblical Wife is someone who follows the biblical standards of being a wife. Why don’t I just say Christian Wife? Because I believe we can believe in Jesus Christ… while treating out husbands poorly.
The bible is filled with wise tid-bits about marriage. Here are a few characteristics of a biblical wife.
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respect her husbandEphesians 5:33
This is the bed rock of a man’s love language. Respect. He wants to know that as the leader of the household that you respect him.
He might not be perfect but in that, neither are we. God doesn’t call for us to respect him conditionally, he calls for us to respect our husbands unconditionally.
Is it difficult sometimes? Yes. But when we temporarily put our pride aside to respect our husband as God calls us to do, we are then welcomed to a kind of marriage that God calls for us to have.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.Ephesians 5:22
I know what you are thinking… ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU WANT TO TO DO WHAT??
In todays society, modern day feminists like to tote around the first half of this verse with out finishing it or reading the entire chapter in its entirety. The second half of this verse is CRUCIAL to understanding it as a whole.
God calls for us to submit to our husbands as we do the Lord.
What does this mean?
How do we submit to the Lord?
Do we tell him what to do? When something goes wrong do we endlessly nag him? Do we talk down to him and speak ill of him when he is not around?
Do we follow his example in how we should live our lives? Do we trust him as our shepard? Do we agree with the way he says we should live our lives and follow his commandments?
That being said, we must submit to our husbands as we submit to the Lord. The Lord does not call for us to cause harm to ourselves or others. He calls for us to live a Godly life, therefore, if our husband does not call for us to live a Godly life, do we still submit to him?
Submission does not mean oppression. Submission in a relationship mean puting someone else’s needs before your own. It means making that persons desires a priority over yours. It means not always doing what we want.
Do we always want to do what it takes to make this marriage work? No. We aren’t perfect.
Do we always want to do what the bible says we need to do in order for us to get into heaven? No. We are sinners.
So let me ask you a question: Do you want your marriage to be hell… or do you want it to be heaven?
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.Proverbs 12 :4
When my husband and I first got married, I found myself hanging out with women who got together with other women for the sole purpose of sharing negative stories about their husbands. Being a newly wed, I thought this was normal and chimed in with a few stories of my own. They laughed and I felt a kinship with them.
It felt good having that sisterhood. I thought it was just what wives did and i felt relieved that not only was I not the only one struggling in my marriage but my problems weren’t as big as theirs.
Until one day my husband overheard me sharing a particularly mean spirited story about him…
And he later confronted me about it.
“Do you really feel that way?” He asked, understandably hurt. “Why didnt you just tell me? If you had told me instead of going to your friends, we could have worked on it together. Instead I hear about it from my friend who is one of your friends husbands. Do you know how ashamed and embarrassed I am right now?”
At first I didnt what the problem was. My friends and I were just BSing or venting. Everyone does it. What’s wrong with that?
He then asked me a question that stopped me dead in my tracks.
“How would you feel if I did that to you?”
After that day, I vowed NEVER to speak negatively about my husband to anyone who was not my husband. I now honor him with everything I say or do. When the conversation comes up, I choose to speak positively about him and share a stories of times when he has been a great father of husband. Because he over hears me speak well of him, or hears from other that I speak highly of him, he then finds more ways to give me more stories to share.
I have even overheard him tell his friends how grateful he is that his wife doesn’t talk smack’ about him.
This is just one example of how a wife can honour her husband. We also honor our husbands by not flirting with other men; online or in person. We honour them by fulfilling their needs, in the bedroom and otherwise.
Truth be told, I am not perfect. I never make the bed. Laundry has a habit of being left in the washing machine for a few days before being moved. I let my pride get in the way of my husband and I have constructive disagreements way too often.
I have now recognized that the key to a better marriage is me. In order to be
That is why I have recommitted 2020 to be the year that I concentrate on my relationship with God, my husband and my self. If you are struggling too, join me on my journey of transformation so we can support each other.
Do you agree with what I wrote? Do you disagree? I would love to hear from you in the comments down below.